Lost In Beauty-

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Ok.. i will not fall again.. i promise.. i will see all the things in many different side and i absolutely agree that man is a jerk. Better i'm alone than i have to be hurt anymore. 4 days before departure.. Not in a good condition, get no enough sleep, my lips become black cause of the allergic and my toes in pain. Hope i can be ok before Monday..

My best friend in Medan now, really glad that i still have someone i trust to and someone to share all my happiness and sorrow. She will be my forever friend. I believe what she said to me and i hope that there is no lie in that.

Life is hard, i know.. Sometimes i just want to walk away from everything, lock myself in the room, never want to go out again.. I hate myself for being stupid, for trying to grab all the things that i will never have. Yes, i want to be better.. i try and try already.. I keep changing myself, build a good EQ, learn how to be a woman, and to be a truly person. But i think i have the limit and i am so tired.. so sick and tired or everybody talk and think about me.. i will be alone.. yes.. alone and will never falling love again.. I hope i will.. I surrender.. Let it be..

Will go for movie at 10.00 PM today.. i don't think i can be in a good condition for these days.

Feehily's exposed ;

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I saw him in my dream last night, i am married and have a child with him.. My friend say that if someone dream of married, it will not be good. I hope he is ok out there. Is it mean that i still miss him? huh..

Feehily's exposed ;

Monday, June 25, 2007

I'm not sure with what i feel right now, but i'm happy. Is it mean i have to forget the past? Start a brand new feeling with a brand new memory? I went for doctor today, and he said that i got an dust allergic i think.. Make my lips become so thick and in pain always.. huh..

Thank God i still have many wonderful friends by my side and i have someone who always give a support to me and caring me.. I just can't stop saying thanking you for this amaze. I knew how it feels when no one come around you and you just spend your time alone without any friend and being lonely for all the time. I have a wonderful saturday night and sunday.. completely refreshing although i feel really exhausted. And i know more and more that he cares for me always. :)

Thank you for Mxxx for saving my life and give me a brand new life. You are kind and wonderful, i'm sure you will get more than the best to be your couple for your whole life. I'm not deserve to be yours. Just let the time heal and the destiny arrange what we have to do for the next. But you are the best that i ever had..

Feehily's exposed ;

Friday, June 22, 2007

Will go for a tour on 02 July for 13 days. I will guide the guests to visit the Beijing - Shang Hai - Hang Zhou - Guilin - Shenzhen and Hongkong.. It will be a tired trip i think and of course, maybe i will be missing somebody somewhere. Hope this trip can be fun and make a refreshment of my life. Maybe i can't force something that it doesn't belong to me.. I have to face the truth, but i will be hurt so bad.. May time can heal it but i don't hope too much..

Feehily's exposed ;

i'm so tired..

Feehily's exposed ;

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Maybe i'm wrong, but i'm happy with my mistakes
Maybe i'm fool but it's better to keep fooling than hurt by the truth
I'm just an ordinary people who need a peace and rest in my life.
Need someone to care of me and think of me..

Maybe i'm a selfish woman, but for the good sake, i'm already try to be a better person for all
Maybe i can do all the things by my own, but can somebody help me to carry away my pressure?
Can somebody understand that i'm not a superwoman.. I am tired..
Is it wrong if i try to love someone? or better i spend my whole life alone and thinking of the past
Many question coming through my mind, but i still can't get the answer

It is my fault to falling love again, but i think i better waste away this feeling so i can stay alive
Love is hurt and i know it.. but why the cupid always come around me? Am i do the right thing to let this feeling come to deeper and deeper? Am i have to thank the cupid or blame all the things on it?
I'm fool and of course a very stupid girl.. I will try my best to keep myself calm and avoid the things call LOVE..

Will i find out the truth?

Feehily's exposed ;

Friday, June 8, 2007

surprise keep coming in this month.. love it but sometimes i get confius with the things i choose.

Feehily's exposed ;